Oh my god, because every woman totally needs a poncho that adds one hundred thousand pounds to her figure.
Not to mention 87,000 pieces of fringe. And 99 million color changes. You'd go insane before you finished that. Think of all the ends needing to be sewn in. Think of the untold hours you'd spend, hunkered over this thing with a crochet hook and 100 frillion 12 inch lengths of yarn.
I'm ready for a rubber room just thinking about it.