You Knit What??

Seriously. What the hell were you thinking?

Friday, September 30, 2005


What the fucking fuck is this???

Apparently Mr. T has taken up knitting.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Just because you can... doesn't mean you should

Ok, the whole mother daughter matching outfit thing has always struck me as a little weird.

This though? This is beyond weird. This is just wrong.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

And now for something completely different....

I actually think these are pretty damn cute. For kids. I do not condone grown women wearing children's clothes.

If only I could translate Japanese....

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Ok, that's just nasty.

This is just gross.

Gross, gross, gross.


Monday, September 26, 2005

Bigger is not always better.

Have you seen my sweater? It's big. It's so big it makes my legs look like tiny, tiny toothpicks.

Have you seen my sweater? It's tacky. It's got paisley and plaid.

Hooray for big sweaters! Hooray for bad eighties fashion!

Good gawd. You could fit like, three of her in that thing.

Today's posting

Hey everyone,

I've tried several times this morning, and I'll try a few more times this afternoon, but I just can't get a picture to upload. In the event that I can't get a pic to upload today, I'll post twice tomorrow.

peace out,


Friday, September 23, 2005


Oh me? I'm just casually hanging out by the lake in my completely ridiculous swancho. Who needs garments containing any practicality at all? Not me!

-sigh- I think I need a drink.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Needful....of taste perhaps?

Ah yes, more tacky crap marketed to the HYUKs.

This might (I said might) be acceptable, if not for the huge gaping holes strewn over it. I am not diametrically opposed to the oversized cowl, although I think they could have made it look less half-assed and sloppy. But holes that look like a moth got into your sweater drawer and had a feast? Absolutely not.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

While we're on the topic of novelty yarn...

I had seen this cover awhile back and spent the last few months trying to banish it from my memory.


And on the cover, no less??? Who knows what other horrors lurk within.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

White Hot Hate.

All things "fun" must be destroyed. I mean it.

Somebody ought to start a rumor that Martha Stewart said that Fun Fur is bigger than Jesus and then there'll be mass demonstrations and burnings of fun fur...

Hey, if it worked for The Beatles, right?

Monday, September 19, 2005

But wait, there's more!

The folks at Lion Brand bring you.....

Martha's Poncho! For your pooch!

Holy crap.

Ok, this has to stop.

I am so freaking OVER this whole poncho/shawl thing. And I don't mean the knitters who enjoy making intricate, small-gauge shawls--those are classic and will always have their place.

But this shit? Has to go. Obviously done for the "I don't knit on anything smaller than a size 30 needle because I have no ability to delay gratification" crowd. Seriously, she looks like a mermaid caught in a tuna net.

This is the kind of thing that make non-knitters ask "did you make that?" But not in a good way.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Follow ye olde white rabbit.

Oh good gawd. It's like Ren Faire meets The Matrix.

And not in a good way.

I weep for the future.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Is it me, or is it the dayQuil?

Let me start out by saying that I'm sick as a dog today, so if I'm less than coherent, well, bear with me, ok?

Now, I'll admit it. I'm hopped up on dayQuil and I may be prone to a bit of the old visual hallucination. Are those really knitted hotpant overalls made of self striping sock yarn? -blinks-

(Big fat smooshy thanks to Alligator Juice for scanning like, the entire issue for us.)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I'd be wearing huge, identity obscuring sunglasses, too. Funny though, how they can't completely hide the obvious contempt she has for her overbearing stage mother for signing her up for this gig in the first place.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Fall's here!

And, along with it, this horrifying bag, clearly riding the Felted Bag Trend Train.

Now the designer of this bag is someone I normally enjoy (and no, I'm not naming names, that always gets me into trouble). However, I think she was smoking some of those autumn leaves when she came up with this design.

Just because it's "clever" doesn't mean it's not "hideous." Just because you CAN attach dangling things that look like dead mice pelts doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Bonus Day!

Oh you've got to be kidding me.

Oh, wait. Let me say that again. -ahem-

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

And I know we don't normally publish our sources, but I have a feeling you all won't believe that these are actually patterns, that they're ready-to-wear or some such.

I assure you that these are indeed actual patterns.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Poor L'il Punkin.

Sorry Berroco. After that Gypsy bullshit from last time, you're going to have to do a lot better than this to get me all riled up.
(And before we get started, I know this isn't that ugly, but it is ridiculously ill-concieved.)

I ... -sigh- Who would do that to their toddler? I mean, little things are cute. I get that. Little pumpkins? Cute. Little kids? Cute. Ergo, Little kids dressed as little pumpkins? Cute.

This? Not cute at all. That kid is going to take two steps, catch her toes on the ridiculous tie thing that hangs down, take a header and be unable to catch herself because one of the armholes is completely obscured by leafy greens, and that's if -if- the kid can manage to get her arms out at all. And let's hope that nothing catches that leaf garland on the way down either... nothing like a strangulation device on a costume.

That kid is adorable, though. Hope she withstands the trauma of being photographed in this monstrosity.

Also (and look out, here comes Ms. Anal-Retentive) pumkin stems aren't black.

Thursday, September 08, 2005


Got your ass kicked by Katrina? Irked with Iraq? Wincing over global warming? Ranting about Rove?

This will make you feel better. Unicorns make everything better.

Siberian Fashion

Bonus! Three awful items together in one picture!

Let's start with the freakin' hat. It looks like she shoved her head up a poodle's butt. Then we move on to the vest---if it's cold enough out for armwarmers and a thick hat, it's too damn cold for bare arms and midriff.

Yup, that's a "moment" alright.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Rock Out With Your Coc... Wait, Can I Say That In Front of Gran?

Rock on with yer bad self, Gran!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Overcompensate much?

I mean, seriously, WTF with the huge needles?

Friday, September 02, 2005

Mailbag Day!

Just in time for your holiday weekend, we present our regular feature, the Reader Mailbag. Unfortunately, I forget who sent this to us so I can't properly give credit where it's due.

The sweaters themselves are not godawful....but what are they looking at?

And pockets? Do I see pockets in the man's version? Ok, I take it back, these may be awful.

Happy Labor Day everyone! And please consider contributing to the relief efforts: the Red Cross, Salvation Army, and many others need our help.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Nice doggie...

Go ahead. Laugh. Just know that when you do, I'm coming over there to bite your face off. Yeah. You laugh.