You Knit What??

Seriously. What the hell were you thinking?

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

How did I miss this????


Granted, sometimes I have to actually go to work to earn the kitty-kibble, so I don't always have time to scour the knitting world the way I should.....but how the heck did both PRK and I manage to miss this?

Yeah, I know Christmas isn't for another ten months but I just couldn't wait.

Anyone out there want to guess what the guy is thinking? Or the dog for that matter?

Monday, February 27, 2006

It's fug for the whole family!


This picture has me confused for so many reasons.

Why are they wearing their hats, scarves and gloves indoors? Without coats? Did Dad lose his job as a children's party magician, and now their heat is turned off?

Why the knitted tie?

And why the oversized novelty cards?

My head hurts.

ETA: ok, fine, I realize there are no gloves. But at first glance I thought the boy had knitted mittens on an idiot cord.....but it's Dad's socks. And, BTW, I can post whatever I want...no matter how old. It's my blog, hahahahahaha!!!!!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Ways to shill your crappy yarn, Part 142


I know!! Let's make lamps!

I'm envisioning a clear base.....stuffed with tacky, brightly-colored yarn! And using the same shredded-looking yarn on the shade! How kicky!

I think these crafters sniffed their glue guns a little too closely when coming up with these beauties. And yes, this was published by a yarn company, right next to their knitting patterns.

Friday, February 24, 2006

FYI

Disagree with our choices all you like.

However, comments that exist merely to call us "obese sheeps(sic) from the midwest" will be immediately deleted. If that makes us fascists, then so be it.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Arrrrrgh!

Avast me hearties!

Yargh!

Yo ho ho and 89 dollars worth of fun fur!

That'll give ye scurvy!

Yargh!

Makes me want an eyepatch... for both eyes!

Yargh!

Oh, excuse me, it's Tiffany, not Fun Fur. To which I reply, "What's in a name? That which we call fug by any other word would suck as much ass."

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I have no good description for this.


Can someone please explain this "garment"?

Not flattering.

Doesn't look fun to knit.

And what about the cutout elbows and shoulders? Wha?????

Did she wash up to shore tangled in a fishing net? That is the only rational explanation for this.......thing.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

This is just stupid, Part 2.


Hey, no one will notice how dull and poorly fitted this hat is if we cover it with mismatched buttons! Buttons make everything better.

If the model moves even slightly, or a 5 mph wind blows, you know that thing is flying off. Which, come to think of it, is probably for the best.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Do we really have to do this again?

Anyone who wants a pattern we post......please see our FAQ section. Merci.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Oh, fuckety-fuck.


Pantaloons. PANTALOONS, people!!!


Eeeuw.

You know how we feel about knitted skirts. Knitted Pantaloons??? So very very very VERY wrong. Ick. I need a shower,

Boobs!




Hey everyone! Look! I have boobs! I put a lovely leaf pattern across them, just in case you didn't notice!

Friday, February 17, 2006

Monkey!


Ape arms, take 762.

WTF??!!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Surprise!

It's not Rowan!

But it's ugly as hell.

(And lady, let's keep both hands where we can see them, ok?)

Ok, I know......


...this has absolutely nothing to do with knitting. But I wasn't feeling very inspired today and it made me laugh. Sometimes that's enough.

And no, I have no idea where this originated so I can't give proper credit. But to whoever created this, I salute you.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Wha...?


Yes, the good folks at (fill in the name of our favorite yarn manufacturer....no, not Lion Brand, the other one) are looking for ways to shill their overpriced ribbon yarn.

Hey, I know! Let's take some yarn, attach it via knots to a ring, and call it a belt!

Fucking brilliant.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day!


Look into my eyes. My creepy red eyes. Be hypnotized by the multicolored afghan. And buy lots of Berroco yarn. Lots and lots of Berroco yarn.

what?


This may just be my most favorite fug ever. It's got a cape.

It's got a cape BUILT INTO THE SLEEVES OF THE SWEATER, PEOPLE.

A cape. I know you can't hear it, but I'm laughing hysterically right now. Still. I've been laughing since this -snerk- cape sweater was presented to me.

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE.

I'm laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my cheeks. Seriously.

I wonder if the model ran around the set, arms outstretched making 'zoom, zoom' airplane noises?

I know, I know. I'm supposed to be cynical and bitter and sarcastic. I can't help it. This is like, the funniest sweater I've ever seen.

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Cape.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Puzzle time!



Hey everyone! Guess what the knitted item is!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

I don't know about you...


...but when I think sexy, I think fuschia fun fur.

-gag-

Thursday, February 09, 2006

It's not knitted but it still sucks.

What the hell is this? A rainbow with pubes? I think I'm going to throw up.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Teeny Tiny Fugginess


Ok everyone, sorry about the size on this one.

The size of the picture in this case in inversely proportional to the fug contained within.

Squint closer......yes, that is a ginormous fun fur shrug that make her arms look YOOGE, paired with a charming tube top with attached (?) top...section?

I just don't get it.

(And yes, my tech skills are limited. Whatever.)

Mmm, upholstery goodness.


I was wondering whatever happened to that old couch that Grandma and Grandpa had in their rec room. Now I know! Broke-o made it into a fetching apron top.

Oh, did I say fetching? I meant retching. My mistake.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Koigeeeeuw.


Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Koigu Pants.

Yes, you heard right. Koigu. Pants. Two words which should never appear together. Koigu on its own? Perhaps for socks, a shawl, a baby gift? Lovely! Pants? Absolutely necessary! The two together? Unforgiveable fug. Not only are they astoundingly unflattering and about to start sagging and bagging, they look like they'd take a really long time to make. And require lots of seaming. Itchy.

Check it out.


Here's the latest from the "Hey, Where Did My Pants Go?" pattern book.

(No, there's nothing inherently wrong with that shawl. It's not bad. It's just the principle of the thing. What is Broke-o trying to accomplish by putting this mediocre shawl on a half naked chick? I'd love to know how this is supposed to appeal to their target demographic... Ok. I'm getting off of my soapbox now.)

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Fringey-fug


Every time I see this picture, I imagine that after this photo was taken
the model got all caught up in her fringe and went face down into a sand dune.

You too?

Insert joke here.


Really, what more needs to be said?

Friday, February 03, 2006

Happy Friday

Anyone want to guess who designed this?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Oh they're on.

So the manufacturer of this sweater has named it "Turn On Your Brights."

I love it when they do my job for me.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Hmm

How is that even structurally sound?!

Like, who said to the designer, "That knee length knit dress is a bit plain. I tell you what! Lop the top off just under the boobs, add a row of granny squares. Only, make no attempt whatsoever to integrate them into the dress.

And then the sleeves. Chop them off and add a kicky granny square cuff.

And the remaining skirt? Way too long. Hack it off and add a scalloped crochet edging. The kids'll love it."