You Knit What??

Seriously. What the hell were you thinking?

Thursday, June 29, 2006

How the hell am I supposed to follow that???

If your expectation of us as blogmistresses is that we top every previous posting, we would have to shut down the site after that last one. (*shuddering at memory*)

Sad thing is that it almost makes this rainbow head-to-toe mess look acceptable. And it clearly is not. Unless you live in the mountains in a geodesic dome, milk your own goats and make your own granola, in which case it may work.

ETA: See what I was saying?? So many of you have been lulled into the welcoming arms of the fug by the horrors that preceeded this posting. You must resist. Awaken and shake off the knitted koigu fugginess.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Let's not ask how, let's all just thank our lucky stars that I've managed to obtain a publicity still from the new p0rno"Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Crack Whore."


Attention, ladies and gentlemen.


Carry on.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

It's not the sweater.

Ok, it's boring. Looks like you could get it at the Gap for $39.99. Nothing too heinous.

I just had to post it because she is posing next to not one but TWO KFC boxes. And that completely made me lose it.

That's why I love the Europeans. You'd never see this shit in an American magazine. (without sufficient compensation for the product placement, that is)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Can someone please explain this?

The woman on the left looks like one of those we have featured here before---too many knitted accessories at once, poor art direction, yadda yadda.

What intrigued me was the woman on the right. What the heck is that around her waist? And neck? Is it a knitted neck-brace cozy? And possibly a cozy for one of those back support belts you see guys wearing at Home Depot?

It's too early in the morning for this.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

More Maggi.

The name of this design is "Lough Tay." Of course, my eyes immediately thought "Tough Lay."

I love Maggi for the same reason I find myself watching the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency: they both bring the crazy.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Wow. Again.

I just love Maggi. Every time I think she's done all she can, she comes up with something even more absurd.

While I find her designs to be.....many things, including completely ridiculous and unwearable, I have to admire her spunk. I'm left to assume that she could not care less about whether anyone ever wears or makes anything she designs, EVER. And I have to admire her for that.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Hey, everyone, look!

I have boobs!

No, really! Look! I knitted the outline into this kicky camisole!

And in case you were wondering, I apparently have gills, too.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Nice try.

I think the yarn company in question figured that if they put this ridiculous item on a cute model, it might sell.

Look at it. It must have been knitted on size 107's and the fringe is insanely long. Actually, it's more of a knitted collar with superfringe.

Don't get me started on the horrific colorway. Eesh.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Here's some irony for you, Alanis.

That stupid "ironic" song always pissed me off. And, I would suspect, legions of English teachers over the past ten years.

Back on topic: the name of this pattern is....wait for it...."Tank of Many Colors."


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Is it just me?

Or does this purse have a really big ass?

Monday, June 12, 2006

Homemade? No, really, I couldn't tell!

This is one cruel joke being played by whoever designed this sweater.

Asymmetry is one thing. (Although I had enough of it in the 80s....yes, you should have seen my hair. Not pretty.) Creating a sweater that looks like it is buttoned incorrectly and the shaping is all fucked up is something else entirely.

Friday, June 09, 2006

A little Friday fun.

This picture is from the fine folks over at the amazingly irony-free

Yes it's crocheted, but it still falls in the "huh?" category. Some on their site thought it was photoshopped, which is possible I suppose, but if you look closely it really does look like the squirrel is in a sweater.

I wonder if the pattern is available?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Tired of getting hit on?

Even the hottest chick won't get any action in this little getup.


Maybe if you need leg warmers, arm warmers, and a hat, you should just be wearing a damn sweater.

Once again, the art directors of the yarn companies show their cluelessness. These 3 together look plain silly.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Oh, the controversy!

Wow, who'da thought that a pretty mild-mannered post about some shorts would cause an aneurism.

Here's something we can all agree on. This is pretty damn cute. And I personally love the Dr. Seuss reference.

Back to your usual fug shortly.